Red Pill or Blue Pill
Gabriella Ronquillo ’26
Whistleblowers of BHSEC have come out, accusing Bard Manhattan of having an under-the-counter deal with Meta. In exchange for 10 million dollars, students’ and teachers’ data would be used to help build the first school in the Metaverse.
In a last ditch effort to save the Metaverse after a loss of 80 billion dollars, Meta is renewing efforts and excitement over world despair. Temperatures are rising to the point of inhabitability of humanity on Earth? Just enter the Metaverse! Besides Bard’s need for funding, they are allegedly interested in Zuckerberg’s project to “give Big Brother DOE something to really talk about.”
After declassifying the documents filled with the plans for this project, I began to understand the meaning behind the odd occurrences at BHSEC. The ultimate truth that these plans culminated to was so enlightening that I almost reached Nirvana, but at that point I stopped reading because I like being a confused human sometimes. Anyways, here are some examples of projects that were already implemented that will not make you ascend, but will make you go, “Ohhh.”
1.) Operation Writing on the Wall
This plan involves placing as many signs across Bard as possible on Bard’s values, virtues, and Writing and Thinking practices until students begin to feel uneasy and disoriented. 2 weeks ago as I entered school I saw one sign saying in bold caps, “A PLACE TO THINK.” I thought it was a nice audition to the random assortment of flyers along the stairwell. 2 days later, I saw the poster multiply. And no, I do not mean that it was reprinted and taped next to the previous one. I saw the poster clone itself. It was my most stable day—all my assignments were checked off my to-do list, it was the day before Friday (feels better than Friday because the anticipation isn’t there anymore), and I felt happy listening to the saddest music possible on my commute. Now, I began to question everything. What else could have been multiplied? The number of school aides that pass by when I have my earphones on? The number of broken laptop keyboards in the library? The purpose of this was to make students question and accept a deviation from the norms of their existence to normalize the idea of having school in a simulation. While this made me feel less insane, it clearly didn’t work, because no one believed my poster story.
2.) Operation D-Day D-Hour
This operation’s plan was preparing students for what would happen when the world transitioned to living in a simulation. It would happen during Dean’s Hour, and the alarm would be Dr. Pew’s voice, startling students and teachers alike just before the clock striked 2:39 p.m. Every Wednesday students felt tested. And it turns out they were being tested! Those who stayed and went to Dean’s Hour passed. Those who sneaked their way out would need to be further studied to figure out how to integrate them into the simulation. Those who stayed by hiding in the bathrooms during Dean’s Hour faced a second test: Ms. Turitz. While hidden students huddled together and made cues for when to stay silent as Ms. Turitz would walk by, it was following the plan accordingly. By making students fear Ms. Turitz, they would increase their survival skills. In reality, Ms. Turitz would serve as the guardian angel making sure everyone arrives at the simulation safely. Maybe those times when Ms. Turitz would scold us for sitting on both sides of the hallway served a higher purpose.
These are only some of the plans that I found—the rest were confiscated because to those living in our current simulation, the documents take the form of a cell phone. While this is concerning news, the next information the whistleblowers bravely shared still haunts me. The 10 million dollars Bard received will not be going towards a Senior trip, Seminar books, or bathrooms. Instead, it will be used to fund trips for “educational purposes” to Paris, France for 9th graders; San Juan, Puerto Rico for 10th graders; Beijing, China for Y1s; and a place to think in a corner of the 4th floor bathroom for Y2s.