Pi Day

Evelyn Shaw ’29

When I first caught wind of this event, it seemed like a harmless fundraising event for a bunch of money-hungry seniors. After attending, though, I now understand that it meant so much more. For those of you who are confused…you just don’t get it. The initial selection process clearly was trying to remind us of the corrupt capitalist country, because the ones with the money got to make the decisions. They alone had the power to determine who was to be “degraded with comestibles” (quote from Prof. Mazie, one candidate in the pieing who did not raise enough money to be pied), through a system in which the candidates,(assorted BHSEC staff members, would be priced, and students had to at least meet that price for the participant to be pied. It is necessary to give all who valiantly braved the stage on that fateful day their due respect…but at the same time, it is really hard to honor someone who is allowing adolescents to smash their faces (and bare heads in certain cases…) with whipped cream. Although, if there were any ounce of pride left after, it was surely nixed after watching them “scrape it out of their ears and off their eyeballs” (again quote courtesy of Prof. Mazie). I was struggling to figure out why in the world one would want to participate in this sadistic ritual, so I conducted several interviews with staff involved in the process. Some were fittingly quite relieved to not be selected, such as Prof. Mazie, who commented “Never have I been happier to lose a competition to my colleagues.” However there was one special soul who was incredibly optimistic at being chosen. That soul was Coach Karelis. He kindly remarked “I just had to crust the process and roll with it. How awful would it have been if I flaked out? It ended up being a flan-tastic experience. I left filling berry good about it. The Y2s did an un-pie-lievable job running the event. Hopefully the dough they raised will really bake a difference.” I am glad that the teachers (or rather teacher) could appreciate this event. I’m sure it was very therapeutic for students to be able to pie their professors. Although some were certainly more aggressive than others. I must say, however, that I feel immense pity for the Year 2 organizers that didn’t realize that pie was more than just whipped cream in some tin foil. It is also important to acknowledge the staff who thought their workplace humiliation would at least include delicious pie. And to be truthful this is a really great opportunity to speak out about the grueling working conditions of white collar jobs: it is too often that these poor indoor employees get overshadowed by blue collar workers. Truly an outrage. Imagine being struck with a faceful of whipped cream when promised pie while watching students gobble down actual pie (or…you know whatever that apple filled thing they gave us actually was) while laughing at your misfortune and in many cases recording it. In the words of Marie Antoinette / Professor Mazie — “Let them eat pie!”