Moving Matter

Lilly McComsey ’29

People are often curious about time. We write about time as it moves forward, jumps back, or hovers and stays in position. We rely on time moving at a constant progression, so our schedules, dates, and appointments can stay nothing but uniform. But when time changes its tracks- feels too slow, feels too fast, repeats or reverses or even stops, our whole place in the world feels uncertain. Solvej Balle explains this perfectly. “That we are forced to acknowledge that our expectations about the constancy of the world are on shaky ground.” Solvej Balle knows all about this feeling of unpredictability. Her whole book- “On the Calculation of Volume I” is built on it.

When I first looked at the cover of Solvej Balle’s book- a New Directions paperback edition, I stared for some time at the colorful piece of matter that marked the first page. An orb or aura with organic rings - a red, a pale yellow, a shade of blue, and a hazardous kind of scarlet purple on its edges. It’s something you can stare into for a long time, almost hypnotic in a way. Similar to Solvej Balle’s working idea of time, there's a feeling of unpredictability- not sure whether it’ll continue to grow, shrink, or suck you up entirely. It seems like a portal of sorts that you were never supposed to see. As the books go on, the matter morphs, giving you an insight into how time is portrayed in each specific volume. She convinces us that time is malleable.

Solvej Balle's series of seven novels explain November 18th in Tara Selter’s life- the protagonist of On the Calculation of Volume and a character the author has developed a deep connection to. This November 18th is different from any others you or I have lived through- it repeats itself for a week, a year, three years. Tara Selter exasperatedly relates that she can’t ever seem to reach the 19th of November, and there’s a feeling of unease, an overflowing mental capacity that coats the whole book.

When I condensed this all in my mind, I thought of immortality- that I could go anywhere or do anything all in a single day. I thought about travelling to every single country, spontaneously learning piano or the Chinese language, having a space where no one could reach or call. I thought of this as being unexpectedly beautiful. But the catch 22 with Solvej Balle’s book is that Tara Selter is continuing to grow older, just in the expanse of a single day. When I realized this, I thought I would simply go crazy within November 18th. Tara spends her hours listening to sounds, her only companion. Tuning into the subtle frequencies of the day; listening into the noise. Contrasted to life in “Walden” by Henry David Thoreau, where simplicity and seclusion is chosen instead of forced upon us like in the “On the Calculation of Volume I.”

My favorite part about Solvej Balle’s novels is how, even though we are convinced that each morning, each afternoon, and each night are the same, there are slight differences that occur as this pattern becomes more mature. Tara, at the end of book no.1, relates how she can feel another year underneath the repeating 18th- a degree higher in the temperature, a stronger breeze, a more intent silence, or a slightly different feel under the moon. It felt as if time was at a crossroads- unsure whether to continue its steady moving course, or submit to its own glitch. To be so intent with your surroundings, or even nature, is a gift- the wind, fresh oxygen, the trees, or the sun that manages to rise every morning, is given undivided attention and simple admiration.

This book is masterful in how it forces us to appreciate time a little more than we did before. It’s ironic that while everybody wants time to move a little slower, shuffle, and pause like it does in the Calculation of Volumes, we also depend on it to move forward. We depend on its progression. It’s a complicated relationship.

Solvej Balle often sits with her thoughts on the island of Aero (pronounced air-rue). Balle rarely leaves her island, and instead spends her time writing and thinking on a little patch of heaven. She relates that she is often at a loss at how to react to all the praise over her book’s success- she appreciates but continues to carry out life on Aero. I want to experience a day on Aero, or a quiet November 18th. Everybody, at some point, needs to be on their own island- allowing time to brush over them in any shape or form it pleases. On an island like this, you have no choice but to wait.