Dear Class of 2020… — The Bardvark

Aasta Tuatis, ‘20

May 2020

It’s been 11 weeks and 2 days since NYC public schools were closed due to the pandemic, and I still find myself plopping onto my bed every night, my eyes glazing over as I stare at the ceiling, trying to imagine what it would have been like if we were having a normal senior year.

Before quarantine, every day had a different kind of routine. We’d make our way to school from the bus stop or train station, either walking with a friend or two with iced coffees in hand or running down the streets for dear life to make it to class on time. (Or not. Senior year, am I right?) My Seminar class was still quiet except for the same four people that participated daily, my Orgo class still bickered with each other, my Comp Sci class still clicked away on their computers, my Conspiracy Theories class still found ourselves racing to catch every word Dr. Matthews said, and my Theater class still rehearsed for our plays. I ran into different people (sometimes literally). We would either smile and wave at each other or yell “Hi” down the hallway. We’d greet each other with hugs and chat or just sit together and get some work done. We’d find and chat with our friends from other grades. We’d go seek out our teachers for help with classwork or just to talk about life. At the end of the day, we’d walk to the bus stop or train stations again, with a friend or two (or five), and maybe make a stop elsewhere before needing to call it a day and head home.

But now? I haven’t even stepped foot outside of my house since March 13th.

Every day is the same. I wake up 5 minutes before my first class of the day. I groggily make my way over to my desk, not even two steps away from my bed. I open my laptop, pull out a random piece of paper, and log into my virtual classroom. It doesn’t even feel real anymore. My eyes meet the pictures of my teacher and classmates and immediately the image of our classroom comes rushing back to me. I can still faintly remember where everyone sat. But now, all I have is some 720p quality video of everyone’s faces on my laptop screen.

I never knew how much I’d miss cramming our homework, essays, or studying together in the library.

Credit (Counterclockwise from top left): Annie Lee, Siema Alam, Ava Chessum

My head is full of should-have-beens. These past few weeks, we should have been making the most of every last school day we had with our friends and teachers before we graduated. On May 1st, we should have come into school wearing shirts that donned the name of the next institution we’ve chosen to attend. This past weekend, we should have been in upstate New York for our senior trip. We should have been building up anticipation for our senior prom, our high school graduation, and our AA commencement.

None of these “should have beens” will ever become reality anymore. Who knew that March 13 was going to be the last time we’d ever spend in the same school building as high school seniors?

This is definitely not the senior year I had imagined in my head. It’s probably not the senior year you imagined either. No senior trip? No prom? No in-person graduations? This was definitely not our “High School Musical” ever after ending, but I don’t think our four years of high school went anything like that series anyway.

This one's for you, Class of 2020. It’s been a rough four years, but we made it. Just a couple more weeks.