In Defense Of Slow Walkers

Evan Farley, ‘20

Walking slowly is far superior to any other speed. Try it. Amble down these halls to your next class. What difference is one minute in time going to make between classes? Even on longer walks outside, the difference between walking fast and slow is unlikely to be more than a trivial five minutes. Instead of being annoyed by people in front of you going too slow, be the person that annoys people behind you. They will find a way around you, and in the meantime, you can enjoy the walk. Even if it is not a walk in the park, walking anywhere is an experience in itself.
I used to walk as fast as I could to my every destination, but honestly, I’ve learned it is not worth it. First of all, my time is really not valuable– about 22 cents per minute by the estimate of my employer– so the real cost of my slow walking is negligible, and that is only directly applicable on the rare occasion I walk to work. So any economic argument about walking fast does not apply to me or most of my contemporaries. Secondly, walking fast makes you sweaty. Despite the bold promises that Degree makes, there is no such thing as 48-hour antiperspirant. If it is hot outside, then I will be sweating by default, and walking quickly just exacerbates that problem. If it is cold, I will likely have layers not designed for anything above moderate activity, and my otherwise pristine outfit will soon be ruined by sweat stains when I take off my jacket. The extra five minutes you will save are well worth the clean armpits. Third, walking fast just means you are going to be slowed down by people in front of you. Whether it is a clogged stairway or a crowded sidewalk, if you are trying to make haste, you are going to be bogged down by some dawdler in front of you. Not only will your plans of speed be foiled, but you will just get annoyed in the process because you are going slower than desired. Just go with the flow, and you will get from point A to point B in a much better state of mind. Fourth and finally, it is just more difficult. Now, I am not a lazy person, and (big flex) I can run farther than most people in this school, but I can’t comprehend why I should spend my energy on something as unimportant as walking fast simply to arrive at class a minute earlier. Getting up the stairs is challenging enough, so please, do not ask me to hasten in the halls. Later in life, walking won’t be as easy as it is now, so enjoy every slow step you take.