The Bardvark

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Early Life Crisis: A Fall HS Lookbook in Five Stages of Sleep Deprivation

Jayna Rohslau, ‘22

October 2019

Monday

On Monday, you arrive at school still traumatized from the week before. However, your outlook on life has also been somewhat brightened over the weekend, thanks to both friends and rewatching F.R.I.E.N.Ds. Maybe this will be a good week, you might think to yourself as you wait on the subway platform. Maybe this will be the week that changes everything in my life for the better. In addition to being at the peak of your emotional state, this day will also likely be your peak stylewise. So don’t be afraid to accessorize! Wear an outfit that might normally be out of your comfort zone. 

Photo credit for cami top: forever21.com, 14.99 for “Lace Velvet Cami”

Photo credit for turtleneck: brandymelvilleusa.com, 24 for “Daniella Turtleneck Top”

Tuesday

After the optimism of Monday, your spirits might have been slightly crushed overnight. But don’t despair, it’s too early in the week to completely lose hope in humanity.  You may feel as though jeans and a t-shirt don’t fully represent the complexity of who you are as a person, but wear them anyway. Today is the day to focus on schoolwork, so you want an easy outfit to throw on that still looks good in a way that requires minimal effort.

Photo credit for tee: aliexpress.com, 10.56 for “Van Gogh Tee Shirt”

Photo credit for jeans: www2.hm.com, 29.99 for “Vintage High Jeans”


Wednesday

Ah, Wednesday. Wednesday is the day that makes both new soldiers and hardened combat veterans break down on the battlefields, or in the hallways of BHSEC. You’ll pass them as you walk past the library, backs slumped against the wall and faces turned to the void.  “I can’t do it,” you might hear them whisper to themselves,”I know we’re halfway through but I can’t go any further.” Today is the day to question who you are, and what it’s all about. You might feel a sudden urge to overhaul your entire personality/personal style, and inexplicably dress like the girl below:

Photo credit for dress: amazon.com, 29.99 for “Forum Novelties 60’s Generation Mod Wild Swirl Dress”

Thursday

By Thursday, what even matters? You don’t matter, your test the next day certainly doesn’t matter, and nothing really matters in the grand scheme of things. Your soul has become black, like the color of the midnight sky– which you should know very well, since that’s how late you’re going to stay up studying for your test. Today you should try wearing monochrome, and by monochrome I mean all black, and by all black I mean you aren’t allowed to smile, since your teeth are too bright. Today, wipe the smile off your face and try wearing a grimace as though you are in deep pain. You’ll fit right in with the crowd, as it seems to be a major trend at BHSEC.

Photo credit for leggings: amazon.com, 19.99 for “CompressionZ High Waisted Women’s Leggings”

Photo Credit for hoodie: www2.hm.com, 24.99 for “Hooded Sweatshirt”

Photo Credit for demonic reaper’s scythe: amazon.com, 29.99 for “Mens Reaper Scythe” sourced directly from the Underworld

Friday

I believe that the pictures speak for themselves.

Photo credit for “bodysuit”: Amazon.com, 9.99 for “ Solimo Multipurpose Drawstring Trash Bags, 30 Gallon, 50 Count.”

Photo credit for “bare feet”: /yourfamilyfootcare.com/, costs absolutely nothing